Whether it’s your enthusiastic presenter who has never kicked a ball or a hardened ex-pro who furrows their brow at the youth of today, you too can now learn the secret language of the “pundit.”
We’ve discovered the secret language of the footballer. Now it’s the turn of the Lee Dixons and Danny Murphys:
“It’s been a tight contest”
Translation: If the game was any more dull it would be like a random black and white film shown at 2pm on the Talking Pictures channel.
“A robust challenge”
Translation: The player has had their legs taken out but because foot has connected with ball this is okay.
“You hate to see this creeping into the modern game”
Translation: A non-foreign player or player we like has just dived or cheated so instead we make a vague blanket statement.
“He played for the foul/is a streetwise player”
Translation: A player we like has dived or cheated so regularly that we have to pretend they are playing some kind of four dimensional Patton-esque military strategy to justify it.
“What’s your take on this ____?”
Translation: A modern thing such as a different hairstyle or gloves when I wouldn’t normally wear gloves has been introduced.
However, as the main pundit, I am trying to vaguely appear neutral, so instead hoping my older former player co-pundit will pick up the banter baton and run with it.
“A bit of afters there”
Translation: The player who got fouled didn’t get a free kick and so has had a strop like Veruca Salt.
“We apologise for the bad language you just heard”
Translation: This is not addressed to the majority of people listening.
I as pundit have to say this to cover myself and appease the handful of people who might be listening who have somehow never been in proximity to a football match and unaware bad language may occur.
“It wasn’t like that in my day”
Translation: It was like that in my day but I as an older ex-footballer pundit I need a stronger prescription for my rose-tinted glasses.
“Two-nil is a dangerous score”
Translation: I am pretty sure this game is already won but I as pundit must maintain my role as tension builder in order to ensure nobody goes out for a cup of tea or retreats to the outside world.
Over to you…
What pundit phrases have you picked up on? Let us know and we may feature it in a future “Learn to speak pundit” follow up.
